Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize