areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Is Oprah even human
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
