I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
