It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
