Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(847): View more from Illinois

okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

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(478): View more from Georgia

tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid

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(619): View more from California

she peed on how many people?

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(770): View more from Georgia

The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her

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(816): View more from Missouri

She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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(+61): View more from Australia

Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers

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(567): View more from Ohio

Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?

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