Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
