that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize