If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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