He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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