Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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