Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
