Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
honey bunches of taint.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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