Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
