loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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