i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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