oh god the rape fog is back!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
