his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize