; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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