You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
