So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
