I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
