dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize