i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have feelings that need drinking.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
