Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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