No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
