Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
