We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize