The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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