Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize