You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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