Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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