your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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