Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Who died my cat blue again?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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