i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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