so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
