theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
