I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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