Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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