I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
