Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
