ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
