i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
