pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
