My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Randomize
