Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
