these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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