i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
