Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I am spending my child support on dildos
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
