my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
