At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
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