WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
