it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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