She is in my trunk
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
