just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
