Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
