wat bout pragnant strippers??
he thought i was a dude.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
