oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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