Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
