Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
